Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
