sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
