omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
God, I missed his penis.
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