i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize