i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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