Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
