can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
