Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
