im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
