i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
