so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
This house was built for laser tag.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
