At least make sure they are 18
Why
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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