if you like me you must not know who I am
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
