I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize