you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
