I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
