Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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