That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
