We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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