she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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