So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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