Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
