The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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