this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being pregnant is like rehab
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize