what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
