In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
