So drunk its hurt
my mouth tastes like poor choices
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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