38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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