i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize