By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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