I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
