my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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