It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Damn victory sex feels great
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
