you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
