If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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