Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I think we might need a safe word for this...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
