if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize