you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
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We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
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Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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