Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
