Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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