I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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