No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
