I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
