I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
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smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
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she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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