brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
