have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
