real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
