last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
