4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
honey bunches of taint.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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