I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
