So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
