It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
