the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize