i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I am one with the molecules
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
