is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
