I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
