Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
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I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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