mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He has the fingertips of a God
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