Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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