Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
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