Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
