I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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