We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
